God Loves Women

A blog sharing my love of God, the love He has for women and my frustration that the Church often doesn't realise this

Blog

Guest Blog: Yesterday...

Posted by God Loves Women on July 19, 2014 at 4:45 PM

This is an guest post from a wonderful friend of mine.

 

I was walking towards my mum's yesterday when someone tapped me on the shoulder, while saying my name. As I turn, he steps back. He asks if I remember him, says it's been a while and tells me his name.

 

I didn't recognise him at first. But a second or two after I hear the name I do. It's the guy who I was once friends with who wanted to have sex with me so much that he ignored my lack of consent.

 

We actually have a conversation... of sorts. How is that?

 

Internally I think I'm wondering how I feel about it all. And I want to know what he'll say... Sorry? I admit it? Anger that I called the police? What?

 

I'm watching him and feeling nothing. Nothing that I can place. But yet I'm shaking. I know what I'm not feeling - no fear, no anger, no hate, no revulsion - forgiveness worked for me then! but I do not know what I am feeling. Once you let it go, what's it replaced with?

 

It's been 9 or 10 years.

 

Do you know what he says to me?

 

"I haven't spoken to you for years. I know it went a bit wrong. I can't remember why though"

 

Really?????? You forget what you did? Getting arrested. Denying it all. Calling it consensual.

 

He goes on to say "maybe we can talk it through and bury the hatchet".

 

The words "...In your head...?" Bounce about in my head. I've still got that smile on my face I get when faced with any uncomfortable situation. I'm weird like that.

 

He keeps himself far away from me. As if he is respectfully / cautiously aware of the fact that I really may not want him anywhere near me. His body language is submissive, passive and open - kind of like "I'm not carrying anything". He's kind of bowing slightly. I notice all of this, I'm known for not usually noticing anything like this! For someone who doesn't remember raping me, he's trying very hard to make me feel at ease and to appear... safe.

 

I think I was still standing there because I was wondering if he's changed. In these years past I've changed in various ways. People change. Has he? He answers my unvoiced question by standing up straight, submission forgotten briefly, and saying "you look really good" with that look of lust that regardless of generation, ethnicity, shape, size or status yes all women have experienced. I know that nothing has changed. He'd do it again. He has no desire to control his desires and my opinion doesn't matter.

 

He offers his number and I take it because I think that when shock has passed I might have something to get off my chest - I might really tell him off maybe - but the morning after there is still nothing to be said and that feels wonderful.

 

I am totally surprised by my response having spent a significant amount of time for a good couple of years thinking about what I'd do if I see him again.

 

It's now quite likely I'll see him again. He says he's often in a place very close proximity to my mum's. I would ask him not to speak to me if he did again.

 

When I left my mum's I felt watched. I probably wasn't. I didn't want to leave there with my daughter. I was relieved I wasn't with her when he approached as I think I'd have been fiercely protective of her, not wanting her to be tainted by engaging with a rapist.

 

I'm not sure why I was not also that protective of myself. Is it because I've already been raped? Or because I'm curious to a fault; to the extent that it overrode my fight/flight urge? Or because I am not as bothered about me as I am about her?

 

I put my hand out to shake his hand. How do you end an unexpected encounter with the man who raped you? He hugs me. I don't feel as dirty as the last time he touched me, but I really wish I'd rejected it. I'm not beating myself up about that... like the last time he touched me. I think he may have taken some meaning from the fact that I didn't pull away. Like reconciliation, like he's made his peace with me. But he doesn't know my mantra. Forgiveness doesn't have to mean reconciliation. Especially when the person is not safe / hasn't changed or repented in the biblical sense. To which I can add Especially when he is a rapist. Forgiveness stops what he did from getting in the way of God and me.

 

What he did is between him and God. I'm free. :-)

Categories: Guest Blogs, Violence against Women

Post a Comment

Oops!

Oops, you forgot something.

Oops!

The words you entered did not match the given text. Please try again.

Already a member? Sign In

1122 Comments

Reply CenaBalkonyQuill
1:44 PM on August 30, 2020 
Ð?лÑ? множеÑ?Ñ?ва гоÑ?ожан Ð?Ñ?ивого Рога Ñ?аÑ?Ñ?енка Ñ?влÑ?еÑ?Ñ?Ñ? Ñ?егоднÑ? обÑ?Ñ?ловливаÑ?Ñ?им Ñ?акÑ?оÑ?ом пÑ?и вÑ?боÑ?е иÑ?полÑ?зÑ?емого маÑ?еÑ?иала Ñ?ади пÑ?оведениÑ? Ñ?емонÑ?а балкона и лоджии. Ð?онÑ?Ñ?Ñ?, какими же Ñ?Ñ?Ñ?оймаÑ?еÑ?иалами легко оÑ?делаÑ?Ñ? балкон и какаÑ? Ñ? ниÑ? Ñ?Ñ?оимоÑ?Ñ?Ñ?, легко можно на web-Ñ?Ñ?Ñ?аниÑ?е вебÑ?айÑ?а пÑ?едпÑ?иÑ?Ñ?иÑ? Ð?омÑ?оÑ?Ñ?: https://balkon.dp.ua/%D1%86%D0%B5%D0%BD%D1%8B/ Ð?еÑ?аллоплаÑ?Ñ?иковÑ?е балконÑ? Ð?Ñ?ивой Рог оÑ? компании Ð?омÑ?оÑ?Ñ? - Цена . Ð?озможно, Ð?ам Ñ?авнÑ?м обÑ?азом Ñ?могÑ?Ñ? оказаÑ?Ñ?Ñ?Ñ? по дÑ?Ñ?е Ñ?ледÑ?Ñ?Ñ?ие инÑ?еÑ?неÑ? Ñ?Ñ?Ñ?аниÑ?Ñ? инÑ?еÑ?неÑ?-Ñ?айÑ?а: http://firmopen.ru/forum/user/34886/
Reply BalkonFrancuzskiyQuill
5:34 AM on September 2, 2020 
Ð?алкон ФÑ?анÑ?Ñ?зÑ?кий Ð?. кÑ?ивой Ñ?ог - Ñ?Ñ?о не лиÑ?Ñ? обвоÑ?ожиÑ?елÑ?нÑ?й лиÑ?евой вид, а и Ñ?кономиÑ? денег. Ð?Ñ?и Ñ?аковом ваÑ?ианÑ?е заÑ?Ñ?еклениÑ? Ð?ам не поÑ?Ñ?ебÑ?еÑ?Ñ?Ñ? Ñ?аÑ?Ñ?оÑ?аÑ?Ñ?Ñ?Ñ? на Ñ?лиÑ?нÑ?Ñ? и внÑ?Ñ?Ñ?еннÑ?Ñ? облиÑ?овкÑ? пеÑ?илÑ?ного загÑ?аждениÑ?, а кÑ?оме Ñ?ого Ñ?Ñ?еплениÑ?. УзнаÑ?Ñ? глÑ?бже пÑ?о ФÑ?анÑ?Ñ?зÑ?кие Ð?алконÑ?, какаÑ? Ñ? ниÑ? Ñ?аÑ?Ñ?енка, а вдобавок Ñ?видеÑ?Ñ? иÑ? Ñ?нимки возможно на Ñ?еÑ?Ñ?Ñ?Ñ?е: ФÑ?анÑ?Ñ?зÑ?кие балконÑ? оÑ? компании Ð?омÑ?оÑ?Ñ? в Ð?Ñ?ивом Роге https://balkon.dp.ua/%D1%84%D1%80%D0%B0%D0%BD%D1%86%D1%83%D0%B7%D
1%81%D0%BA%D0%B8%D0%B9-%D0%B1%D0%B0%D0%BB%D0%BA%D0%BE%D0%BD/ . УдаÑ?нÑ?Ñ? Ð?ам покÑ?пок! Ð?полне веÑ?оÑ?Ñ?но, Ð?ам Ñ?оÑ?но Ñ?акже Ñ?Ñ?меÑ?Ñ? оказаÑ?Ñ?Ñ?Ñ? по дÑ?Ñ?е поÑ?ледÑ?Ñ?Ñ?ие вÑ?б Ñ?Ñ?Ñ?аниÑ?Ñ? инÑ?еÑ?неÑ?-Ñ?еÑ?Ñ?Ñ?Ñ?а: https://potolki.kr.ua/%d0%bf%d0%be%d1%82%d0%be%d0%bb%d0%ba%d0%b8-
%d0%b2-%d0%ba%d0%be%d1%80%d0%b8%d0%b4%d0%be%d1%80-%d0%bf%d1%80%d0
%b8%d1%85%d0%be%d0%b6%d1%83%d1%8e/
Reply HaroldVigue
9:19 PM on September 15, 2020 
Hi, here on the forum guys advised a cool Dating site, be sure to register - you will not REGRET it https://bit.ly/3mmOmi0
Reply Stephenhoort
10:20 PM on September 19, 2020 
Hi, here on the forum guys advised a cool Dating site, be sure to register - you will not REGRET it https://bit.ly/2RA7I5l
Reply BettyStete
10:16 AM on October 6, 2020 
Dating with sexy girls -
https://clck.ru/QymFG
@46**
Reply MaratCaugh
12:51 PM on October 16, 2020 
The domain faced in 2020 the outbreak of coronavirus COVID-19, commitment never be the anyway Strict measures infatuated through numerous governments to baffle the spread of the condition, including the partial or faultless closure of cinemas, forcing the vigour to reform and detect new ways to interact with the public. https://trsnell.com/elokuvakokoelmat/paras-elokuvia-epidemia/ It will take possession of a handful years before the young structure proves moving, covid-19SF3535sd$fsdfsdfsdf! as long as the whole world is isolated mist lovers are told to reward the most noted movies epidemics that filmmakers are white-livered to pass nearby, and to set side by side stories with reality.
Reply Trokalokna
4:17 PM on October 22, 2020 
?????? ????????????? ??? ? ????? ????????????????? ? ????? ?????. ? ??? ??????, ???? ??? ??????? ?????? ???????? ???????? ?????????????????? ????, ?? ?? ????????? ?????????, ??? ???? ?????, ??? ???????? ???? ???????? ?? https://dveriokna.dp.ua/okna-trokal/ . ?????? ????????, ??? ??? ?????? ?????????? ????? ??? ????????? ????????-???????: https://potolki.kr.ua/%d1%84%d0%be%d1%82%d0%be%d0%be%d0%b1%d0%be%
d0%b8/
Reply Salamanderokna
10:52 PM on October 22, 2020 
? ????? ????? ?????? ???? ???? ????? ??? ?????? ?? ??????????? ? ????? ??????, ?? ? ? ??????. ???????, ????? ???? ????? ?????? ???? ?? ??????, ?? ??? ??? ??????????, ????? ????? ????? ????????????????? ? ???????? ?????????????????? ???? Salamander ?????? ??? https://dveriokna.dp.ua/okna-salamander . ????????????????, ??? ??? ?????? ??????????? ????? web-??????? ??? ????: https://santehnik.kr.ua/
Reply SteklopaketyQuill
9:20 PM on October 26, 2020 
?????????? ??????, ????? ????????? ??? ????????????? ???????? ???????????? ?? ?????. ??? ? ??? ???????? ?????????? ??????????? ???????? ??????? ?? ?????: https://dveriokna.dp.ua/%D1%81%D1%82%D0%B5%D0%BA%D0%BB%D0%BE%D0%B
F%D0%B0%D0%BA%D0%B5%D1%82%D1%8B/ ?????? ??????????? ???? ?? ????????????? .????????, ??? ?????? ??????? ????? ??????? ???????? ?????? ????????? ????????-?????: http://drevoservis.dp.ua/price/
Reply OknauhodQuill
6:55 PM on October 27, 2020 
???? ?? ???????, ????? ???? ?????????? ??? ????? ??????, ??????? ? ?????? ???? ?? ???????????? ?????? https://dveriokna.dp.ua/%D1%83%D1%85%D0%BE%D0%B4-%D0%B7%D0%B0-%D0
%BE%D0%BA%D0%BD%D0%B0%D0%BC%D0%B8/ .????????, ??? ?????? ??????? ????? ??????? ???????? ?????? web-??????? ???????: https://potolki.kr.ua/%d0%ba%d0%be%d0%bd%d1%82%d0%b0%d0%ba%d1%82%
d1%8b/
Reply OknazamokQuill
4:49 AM on October 29, 2020 
????????? ?????, ????? ???????? ???????? ?? ??????????? ?? ????????????. ? ???? ?????? ?? ???????? ???????? ????????? ??????? ?????? ?? ???? https://dveriokna.dp.ua/%D0%B4%D0%B5%D1%82%D1%81%D0%BA%D0%B8%D0%B
9-%D0%B7%D0%B0%D0%BC%D0%BE%D0%BA/ . ????? ????, ??? ?????? ??????? ?????? ????????? ?? ?????? ?????? ???-???????? ????????-???????: https://dveriokna.dp.ua/umnie-okna-rehau/
Reply OknakontQuill
8:35 PM on October 29, 2020 
??????, ????? ??????? ????????? ? ???????????? ??????? ????? ? ???????: ???? ?????? ??? ????, ??? ??????, ???????? https://dveriokna.dp.ua/%D0%BA%D0%BE%D0%BD%D1%82%D0%B0%D0%BA%D1%8
2%D1%8B/. ????? ????, ??? ???????? ????? ????????? ?? ???? ????? ???-???????? ???????: https://dveriokna.dp.ua/%D0%B7%D0%B8%D0%BC%D0%BD%D0%B8%D0%B9-%D0%
BC%D0%BE%D0%BD%D1%82%D0%B0%D0%B6-%D0%BE%D0%BA%D0%BE%D0%BD/
Reply SteklopaketyQuill
6:46 AM on November 1, 2020 
?????? ???????????? ???????? ????? ??????????? ???? % ?? ???? ???????????? ????. ??????? ??, ?? ??????????? ????????? ????? ? ?????? ???????? ???? ? ????????????? ?????? ?? ????????? ?????????? ???????. ??? ??????? ?????????? ???? ? ??????????? ?? ????? ??????? ???????? ?? ????????: ?????? ??? ???? ???????????? https://dveriokna.dp.ua/vibor-steklopaketa/ .????????, ??? ???? ????? ????????? ?? ?????? ????? web-??????? ??? ????: https://comfort.kr.ua/okna-iz-dereva-krivoj-rog/
Reply Billiejek
7:56 AM on November 15, 2020 
Hi, here on the forum guys advised a cool Dating site, be sure to register - you will not REGRET it https://bit.ly/3l7MRDo
Reply Gregoryfuh
5:40 PM on November 26, 2020 
Hi, here on the forum guys advised a cool Dating site, be sure to register - you will not REGRET it https://bit.ly/3fsnVVa
Reply OknaQuill
5:04 PM on November 27, 2020 
????? ?????????????????? ???? ????? ????????. ?????? ?????? ??? ???????? ? ?????? ??????? ??? ??????????? ??? ????. ?? ???? ? ?????, ??????? ?????? ??????? ????? ?????? ???????? ??? ??????? ??????????? ???????????. ??????????? ??????? ?? ??????? ????, ??????????? ?? ????? ?????, ??? ?????? ??? ????????? ????? ?????? ???? ? ?????????? ????????????? ?????????? ? ????? ?????????? ? ???? ????????? ?? ???????. ??? ?????????? ?????????? ????? ??? ??????????? ??????? ???????? ??????? ????. ?????? ????? ?? ????????, ??? ??????????? ??????????????? ????????, ??? ????? ??????. ??? ??????? ?? 3 ?????? ? ???????? ?????????? ?????. ????? ???? ? ?? ???? ????? ???????, ?????? ? ?? ?????? ???????????? ????????? ??? ???? ? ?? ????????????? ?? ??? ??????. ???? ? ? ????? ???????? ????????????? ???????????? ??? ?????????? ? ??? ??????????, ?? ???????????? ??????? ? ????????. ??? ??????? ?????????? ???????? ???? ? ????? ???????? ??????? ? ???????????? ?????????????. ?? ?????? ????? ????? ???????? ? ????????????????? ?????????. ??? ? ?????? ????? ???????? ? ?????????? ??????? ?? ?????? ?????. ????? ?? ??????????? ?? ????????? ???????, ?????????? ????????? ??? ???????????????????? ???????????. ??? ???????? ??? ?????? ?????? ?????????????? ???????? ?? ?????? ?????????? ?????? ???? ? ???????????? ????????????? ? ?? ????? ??? ???? ???????? ????????. ??? ???????? ???????, ?? ????? ??? ??????????? ????? ?????, ?????????, ?? ????? ?? ???????????? - ???? WDS, ?? ????????? ???????? ????????? ????????? ???? ?????. ???????????????? ??? ??????????? ???? ??? ??????? ????? ?? ???????? ???? ???? ????? ?????? ??? ???? https://dveriokna.dp.ua/ . ???? ?? ?????????? ? ?????? ????, ???????? ? ????? ???? ?? ???????? ???????. ??? ? ??? ????????? ????????? ????????? ?????? ???????? ???? ?? ???? ?????? ??? ???????? ? ?????????????? ?????????? ?????? .?????? ????????, ??? ????? ????? ?????? ???????? ?? ????? ????????? ??? ????????? ???-?????: https://vorota.cx.ua/vopros_otvet/
Reply Twertypew
8:21 AM on November 28, 2020 
discount programs for accutane Enzync cheapest cialis 20mg anebratourne cialis sale
Reply AlexiSmileqkl
1:25 PM on November 29, 2020 
???????? ??????? ??????? ???????
?????? ???????? ???????
????? ???????
Reply Bradleyfal
11:39 PM on November 29, 2020 
Viagra: $0.31
Cialis: $0.69
Levitra: $1.09

Canadian Pharmacies

+ 100% Confidential and anonymous
+ New FDA Approved Drugs
+ Special internet prices and discounts
+ Brand and generic RX meds
+ Fast worldwide delivery

Your trusted list of the best online pharmacies:
+ Check Your Online Pharmacy






















How common are sexual side effects with Celexa? Celexa Buy no prescription. Canadian Online Pharmacy - How to order Celexa medication coupon.
Customer reviews of Celexa. Online pharmacies Generic Celexa forum reviews. How common are the side effects of Celexa? Generic Celexa without a doctor prescription. Online Pharmacy - Cheap Celexa side effects for men.
Best company to buy Celexa online. Canadian Pharmacy Reviews of Celexa from Canada.
Reply Floydpax
10:00 AM on November 30, 2020 
????????????????? ???????

? ????????????S% ??????? ???????? ?????????????? ?? ????????? ?????? ??? ????????? ? ??????? ???????????? ????????, ??? ?? ????? ????????? ????????????? ??????? ????? ????????.
????????????? ????????? ????? ???????????? ???????? ?? ????? 30% ?? ?????????? ?? ?????? ?????? ????????.

?????? ?? ??????? ???????????? ????????????? ?????????????????? ????????? ??????????? ?????? ???? ????? ??????? ? ??????? ????????????. ??? ????? ??? ????? ?????? ??????????? ????? ? ?????? ??? ???? ????? ????????? ???????????????? ??????????.

?????????? ????? ???????? ?? ??????? ??? ???????? ? ??????? ?????????? ???????????? ? ???????? ?????????? ???? ?????? ????, ??? ??????? ??? ? ???????????? ????????????.