God Loves Women

A blog sharing my love of God, the love He has for women and my frustration that the Church often doesn't realise this

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Guest Blog: Yesterday...

Posted by God Loves Women on July 19, 2014 at 4:45 PM

This is an guest post from a wonderful friend of mine.

 

I was walking towards my mum's yesterday when someone tapped me on the shoulder, while saying my name. As I turn, he steps back. He asks if I remember him, says it's been a while and tells me his name.

 

I didn't recognise him at first. But a second or two after I hear the name I do. It's the guy who I was once friends with who wanted to have sex with me so much that he ignored my lack of consent.

 

We actually have a conversation... of sorts. How is that?

 

Internally I think I'm wondering how I feel about it all. And I want to know what he'll say... Sorry? I admit it? Anger that I called the police? What?

 

I'm watching him and feeling nothing. Nothing that I can place. But yet I'm shaking. I know what I'm not feeling - no fear, no anger, no hate, no revulsion - forgiveness worked for me then! but I do not know what I am feeling. Once you let it go, what's it replaced with?

 

It's been 9 or 10 years.

 

Do you know what he says to me?

 

"I haven't spoken to you for years. I know it went a bit wrong. I can't remember why though"

 

Really?????? You forget what you did? Getting arrested. Denying it all. Calling it consensual.

 

He goes on to say "maybe we can talk it through and bury the hatchet".

 

The words "...In your head...?" Bounce about in my head. I've still got that smile on my face I get when faced with any uncomfortable situation. I'm weird like that.

 

He keeps himself far away from me. As if he is respectfully / cautiously aware of the fact that I really may not want him anywhere near me. His body language is submissive, passive and open - kind of like "I'm not carrying anything". He's kind of bowing slightly. I notice all of this, I'm known for not usually noticing anything like this! For someone who doesn't remember raping me, he's trying very hard to make me feel at ease and to appear... safe.

 

I think I was still standing there because I was wondering if he's changed. In these years past I've changed in various ways. People change. Has he? He answers my unvoiced question by standing up straight, submission forgotten briefly, and saying "you look really good" with that look of lust that regardless of generation, ethnicity, shape, size or status yes all women have experienced. I know that nothing has changed. He'd do it again. He has no desire to control his desires and my opinion doesn't matter.

 

He offers his number and I take it because I think that when shock has passed I might have something to get off my chest - I might really tell him off maybe - but the morning after there is still nothing to be said and that feels wonderful.

 

I am totally surprised by my response having spent a significant amount of time for a good couple of years thinking about what I'd do if I see him again.

 

It's now quite likely I'll see him again. He says he's often in a place very close proximity to my mum's. I would ask him not to speak to me if he did again.

 

When I left my mum's I felt watched. I probably wasn't. I didn't want to leave there with my daughter. I was relieved I wasn't with her when he approached as I think I'd have been fiercely protective of her, not wanting her to be tainted by engaging with a rapist.

 

I'm not sure why I was not also that protective of myself. Is it because I've already been raped? Or because I'm curious to a fault; to the extent that it overrode my fight/flight urge? Or because I am not as bothered about me as I am about her?

 

I put my hand out to shake his hand. How do you end an unexpected encounter with the man who raped you? He hugs me. I don't feel as dirty as the last time he touched me, but I really wish I'd rejected it. I'm not beating myself up about that... like the last time he touched me. I think he may have taken some meaning from the fact that I didn't pull away. Like reconciliation, like he's made his peace with me. But he doesn't know my mantra. Forgiveness doesn't have to mean reconciliation. Especially when the person is not safe / hasn't changed or repented in the biblical sense. To which I can add Especially when he is a rapist. Forgiveness stops what he did from getting in the way of God and me.

 

What he did is between him and God. I'm free. :-)

Categories: Guest Blogs, Violence against Women

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10:10 AM on August 18, 2020 
Ð?Ñ?делка лоджии Ð?Ñ?ивой Рог. Ð?Ñ?делка балкона в Ð?Ñ?ивом Роге оÑ?Ñ?Ñ?еÑ?Ñ?влÑ?еÑ?Ñ?Ñ? Ñ?азлиÑ?нÑ?ми маÑ?еÑ?иалами.Ð?еÑ? деÑ?Ñ?Ñ?Ñ? назад еÑ? оÑ?Ñ?Ñ?еÑ?Ñ?влÑ?ли Ñ?аÑ?е плаÑ?Ñ?иком. Ð?днако Ñ?огда, когда Ñ?акÑ?Ñ? оÑ?делкÑ? повÑ?едил гÑ?ад жилÑ?Ñ?Ñ? Ð?Ñ?ивого Рога пеÑ?еклÑ?Ñ?илиÑ?Ñ? на Ñ?айдинг. Со вÑ?еменем вÑ?Ñ?Ñ?нилоÑ?Ñ?, Ñ? Ñ?Ñ?ого маÑ?еÑ?иала Ñ?акже еÑ?Ñ?Ñ? Ñ?лабаÑ? Ñ?Ñ?оÑ?она. Ð?н Ñ?обиÑ?аеÑ? пÑ?лÑ?, коÑ?оÑ?ой в наÑ?ем мегаполиÑ?е пÑ?едоÑ?Ñ?аÑ?оÑ?но. СейÑ?аÑ? Ñ?амÑ?м попÑ?лÑ?Ñ?нÑ?м видом длÑ? наÑ?Ñ?жной оÑ?делки лоджий Ñ?Ñ?ал пÑ?оÑ?наÑ?Ñ?ил или, как его еÑ?Ñ? назÑ?ваÑ?Ñ?, пÑ?оÑ?лиÑ?Ñ?. Ð?н не линÑ?еÑ?, не Ñ?Ñ?ановиÑ?Ñ?Ñ? Ñ?Ñ?Ñ?пким даже Ñ?еÑ?ез деÑ?Ñ?Ñ?ок леÑ?, как плаÑ?Ñ?ик, Ñ?поÑ?обен деÑ?жаÑ?Ñ? нагÑ?Ñ?зкÑ? оÑ? падаÑ?Ñ?иÑ? кÑ?Ñ?ков деÑ?евÑ?ев и гÑ?ада. Ð?аÑ?Ñ?дÑ? Ñ? полезной Ñ?Ñ?нкÑ?ией, пÑ?оÑ?лиÑ?Ñ? Ñ?акже имееÑ? болÑ?Ñ?ое Ñ?азнообÑ?азие Ñ?веÑ?ов и бÑ?деÑ? Ñ?кÑ?аÑ?ением каждого Ñ?аÑ?ада. Ð?бÑ?ивкÑ? балкона Ñ? Ñ?лиÑ?Ñ? можно делаÑ?Ñ? как пеÑ?ед Ñ?Ñ?Ñ?ановкой Ð?Ð?Ð¥ окнами, Ñ?ак и поÑ?ле. Ð?бÑ?ивка лоджии Ñ? Ñ?лиÑ?Ñ? в Ð?Ñ?ивом Роге, Ñ?ена. Ð?о Ñ?оÑ?Ñ?оÑ?ниÑ? на иÑ?нÑ? 2019 года оÑ?делка лоджии пÑ?оÑ?лиÑ?Ñ?ом Ñ?оÑ?Ñ?авлÑ?еÑ? в Ñ?Ñ?еднем 3700 гÑ?ивен. ЧÑ?обÑ? ознакомиÑ?Ñ?Ñ?Ñ?, как вÑ?бÑ?аÑ?Ñ? плаÑ?Ñ?иковÑ?е окна длÑ? заполнениÑ? лоджии, поÑ?еÑ?иÑ?е Ñ?аздел Ð?кна Ð?Ñ?ивой Рог. ЧÑ?обÑ? оÑ?ениÑ?Ñ? Ñ?оÑ?о Ñ?емонÑ?ов по оÑ?делке лоджий, поÑ?еÑ?иÑ?е Ñ?аздел Ð?бÑ?ивка балкона пÑ?оÑ?лиÑ?Ñ?ом пÑ?оÑ?лиÑ?Ñ?ом https://balkon.dp.ua/наÑ?Ñ?жнаÑ?-обÑ?ивка/
Reply OknoRehauQuill
6:40 AM on August 27, 2020 
Ð?о впеÑ?аÑ?лениÑ?м клиенÑ?ов, в гоÑ?оде Ð?Ñ?ивой Рог Ñ?егоднÑ? кÑ?пиÑ?Ñ? плаÑ?Ñ?иковÑ?е окна Rehau лÑ?Ñ?Ñ?е вÑ?его вÑ?его в Ð?Ñ?ганизаÑ?ии Ð?омÑ?оÑ?Ñ?. Ð?на Ñ?еализÑ?еÑ? окоÑ?ки по доÑ?Ñ?Ñ?пной Ñ?Ñ?оимоÑ?Ñ?и изгоÑ?овиÑ?елÑ?, пÑ?едоÑ?Ñ?авиÑ? Ñ?еÑ?Ñ?иÑ?икаÑ? гаÑ?анÑ?ии на окна оÑ? 5 до 10 долгиÑ? леÑ? и пÑ?едложиÑ? Ñ?кидкÑ? по пÑ?омоакÑ?ии. Ð?о какой пÑ?иÑ?ине окна РеÑ?аÑ? Ñ?Ñ?иÑ?аÑ?Ñ?Ñ?Ñ? пÑ?евоÑ?Ñ?однейÑ?ими и Ñ?знаÑ?Ñ? иÑ? опиÑ?ание и Ñ?енÑ? легко на блоге: СÑ?оимоÑ?Ñ?Ñ? плаÑ?Ñ?иковÑ?Ñ? окон РеÑ?аÑ? Ð?Ñ?ивой Рог https://dveriokna.dp.ua/%D0%BE%D0%BA%D0%BD%D0%B0-rehau/ . УдаÑ?нÑ?Ñ? Ð?ам покÑ?пок и как можно болÑ?Ñ?е оÑ?лиÑ?нÑ?Ñ? впеÑ?аÑ?лений Ñ? окнами Ð?Ð?Ð¥ оÑ? пÑ?едпÑ?иÑ?Ñ?иÑ? Ð?омÑ?оÑ?Ñ? из Ð?Ñ?ивого Ñ?ога! Ð?полне веÑ?оÑ?Ñ?но, Ð?ам Ñ?оже Ñ?могÑ?Ñ? пÑ?ийÑ?иÑ?Ñ? по вкÑ?Ñ?Ñ? подобаÑ?Ñ?ие вÑ?б-Ñ?Ñ?Ñ?аниÑ?Ñ? Ñ?айÑ?ов: http://studio-mojito.ru/?p=755&unapproved=31&moderation-hash=6897
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Reply OknoWDSQuill
7:39 AM on August 27, 2020 
Ð?коннÑ?е Ñ?амÑ? WDS - Ñ?Ñ?о Ñ?епеÑ?Ñ? наилÑ?Ñ?Ñ?ие оÑ?еÑ?еÑ?Ñ?веннÑ?е окоÑ?ки. Ð?о Ñ?войÑ?Ñ?вÑ? они Ñ?е же, как РеÑ?аÑ?, но пÑ?имеÑ?но на 25 пÑ?оÑ?енÑ?ов подеÑ?евле. ФабÑ?ика Ð?иÑ?оплаÑ?Ñ?, Ñ?Ñ?о вÑ?пÑ?Ñ?каеÑ? окна пвÑ? вдÑ? имееÑ? лиÑ?нÑ?Ñ? лабоÑ?аÑ?оÑ?иÑ? пÑ?овеÑ?ки Ñ?Ñ?овнÑ? и иÑ?пÑ?Ñ?Ñ?ваÑ?Ñ?Ñ?Ñ? лабоÑ?аÑ?оÑ?иÑ?. Ð?лаÑ?Ñ?иковÑ?е окна вдÑ? добилиÑ?Ñ? неоднокÑ?аÑ?но Ñ?иÑ?Ñ?ла "Ð?Ñ?енд года" и имеÑ?Ñ? многопÑ?оÑ?иÑ? пÑ?емий. Ð?Ñ?Ñ?Ñ?ниÑ?Ñ?, какаÑ? Ñ?ена Ñ? вÑ?Ñ?еназваннÑ?Ñ? меÑ?аллоплаÑ?Ñ?иковÑ?Ñ? окон и где иÑ? можно конеÑ?но пÑ?иобÑ?еÑ?Ñ?и в Ð?оÑ?оде кÑ?ивой Ñ?ог можно конеÑ?но на Ñ?айÑ?е: Ð?кна WDS меÑ?аллоплаÑ?Ñ?иковÑ?е Ð?Ñ?ивой Рог https://dveriokna.dp.ua/%D0%BE%D0%BA%D0%BD%D0%B0-wds/ Ð?еÑ?оÑ?Ñ?но, Ð?ам Ñ?акже возможно Ñ?могÑ?Ñ? вÑ?зваÑ?Ñ? к Ñ?ебе Ñ?импаÑ?иÑ? подобаÑ?Ñ?ие Ñ?Ñ?Ñ?аниÑ?ки веб Ñ?зла: http://prognozvtochku.ru/2020/08/13/%d1%84%d0%ba-%d1%81%d0%be%d1%
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Reply MatrasyKomfortQuill
9:52 AM on August 27, 2020 
Ð?аÑ?Ñ?аÑ?Ñ? оÑ?Ñ?опедиÑ?еÑ?кие - Ñ?егоднÑ? Ñ?Ñ?о Ñ?оваÑ?Ñ?, каковÑ?е обладаÑ?Ñ? наглÑ?дно вÑ?Ñ?аженнÑ?м оÑ?Ñ?опедиÑ?еÑ?ким и анаÑ?омиÑ?еÑ?ким дейÑ?Ñ?вием. ЭÑ?и маÑ?Ñ?аÑ?Ñ? покÑ?паÑ?Ñ? в полÑ?зÑ? надежной пÑ?оÑ?илакÑ?ики и излеÑ?ениÑ? наÑ?Ñ?Ñ?ений Ñ? Ñ?Ñ?ебÑ?ом. Ð?Ñ?Ñ?Ñ?ниÑ?Ñ?, в каком меÑ?Ñ?е легко можно пÑ?иобÑ?еÑ?Ñ?и Ð?Ñ?Ñ?опедиÑ?еÑ?кий маÑ?Ñ?аÑ? в Ð?оÑ?оде кÑ?ивой Ñ?ог и какаÑ? же Ñ? ниÑ? Ñ?Ñ?оимоÑ?Ñ?Ñ? доÑ?Ñ?Ñ?пно на поÑ?Ñ?але Ñ?Ñ?Ñ?оиÑ?елÑ?ной Ñ?иÑ?мÑ? Ð?омÑ?оÑ?Ñ? из гоÑ?ода кÑ?ивой Ñ?ог: https://ortopedicheskij-matras-krivoj-rog.kr.ua/ Ð?Ñ?ивой РогоÑ?Ñ?опедиÑ?еÑ?кие маÑ?Ñ?аÑ?Ñ? недоÑ?ого Ð?лагополÑ?Ñ?нÑ?Ñ? Ð?ам пÑ?иобÑ?еÑ?ений! Ð?ожеÑ? бÑ?Ñ?Ñ?, Ð?ам Ñ?акже возможно Ñ?Ñ?меÑ?Ñ? пÑ?ийÑ?иÑ?Ñ? по нÑ?авÑ? подобаÑ?Ñ?ие web-Ñ?еÑ?Ñ?Ñ?Ñ?Ñ? вебÑ?айÑ?а: https://comfort.kr.ua/besedki_krivoy_rog/#more-920
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Reply PotolkiKomfortQuill
11:01 AM on August 27, 2020 
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